Abundant living is not a matter of material gain, but rather a condition of the heart. It is a place that allows one to love without expectation, forgive without just cause and serve with selfless humility. It requires the bending of the knees, outstretching of the arms. Eyes are focused out towards others, even when desires within are left unmet. Serving becomes an opportunity to honor and exult, even the most undeserving, turning a have to into a get to. A spiritual act of worship, of praise.
And it is in the times of extreme exhaustion, when the wits end of the rope is in sight that the abundant outpouring of perfect love is released to overflowing. For it is in the overflow that strength is found not in oneself, but in the very One who cradles the soul and bottles every tear. In the overflow one finds grace and freedom. Mistakes made do not disqualify or discount, but instead turn one to repentance and new mercies. The dead places are brought to life, words of truth nourish and make firm the foundation upon which to stand. A bruised soul finds healing and acceptance.
When abounding love and abundant life are received, one is equipped and able to sacrificially give of time, talent and treasure. For, truly, it is not in the public accolades and acquiring of goods that one finds meaning, but in the quiet offering of a life surrendered, with eyes firmly fixed upon the eternal...
where the cost has been counted and the only reasonable response is Yes, Lord.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
airplanes and promises
What does it look like to be audacious? How does that feel? Where conformity is valued, who am I really?
Confusion swirls as the thoughts are pondered. Unanswered questions fill mind space. As I close my eyes I hear a familiar sound overhead and my lips stretch into a smile. The roaring engine of a plane, soaring thousands of feet above the earth.
Flying releases a sense of freedom; I've jumped out of a couple of airplanes, but usually I find myself securely fastened and journeying from one place to another. Once as I was soaring 36K feet up in the air, deep in thought, tears began pouring, uncontrollably. My focus was on the nakedness of a left hand finger. The very finger that I figured, by this point in my life, would be adorned by a symbol of love, a till-dealth-do-us-part commitment. Tears still streaming, breath short, *the man sitting uncomfortably next to me*..unable to pull myself together.
Looking out into the wispy white I silently lifted up a prayer. Deep breath. Then a peace, not audible or spelled out in letters and lights, but a cradling of my soul, a deep caring for my heart. A reminder of the promise given years ago.
In truth, I've worn the label single as an embarrassment, shame. Because, you see, most of my friends are past the marriage stage, and are having or have had their children. How many times have I stood beside dear friends as they committed their lives to another? Rejoicing with laughter and tears. And then welcomed their sweet little ones, while feeling the piercing desire to one day gaze upon my own. Or held hands and petitioned expectantly for those who could not conceive, wondering if they realize the depth to which I understand their sorrow.
The whys are unrelenting. Where do I belong? And how much longer must I wait? In my head I know that this season is producing endurance and perseverance, but my heart aches.
And then the questions of *when are you going to settle down and start a family?* as if settling has anything to do with it. Settling is not an option. I have a calling and a purpose; I have not wasted my life recklessly on this world, but rather have offered a life of reckless abandon to my Maker. My longing to live an extraordinary life for him trumps my willingness to be content with the status quo. He knows what is best for each one, and it is in the comparing myself to others that I begin to dwell on my have nots.
Yet, when hope seems like a distant memory He will often lift my head and remind me of his love..with airplanes, promises. Taking me to days much like the one where He romanced my heart high above the clouds. He is working it out. He is never early. He is never late.
Like the pilot He sees what's ahead, He knows where we're going. So, I can either rely on my limited window view or trust in His all knowing-ness. I choose to trust. I choose faith for what is still unseen.
So, audaciously, expectantly, boldly I pray for this desire to be fulfilled. Even when others have given up, I choose to believe that He is able. He knit me together, He knows every hair on my head, He knows my every thought. He has not forgotten me..
nor has He forgotten you.
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." --Isaiah 41:13
Flying releases a sense of freedom; I've jumped out of a couple of airplanes, but usually I find myself securely fastened and journeying from one place to another. Once as I was soaring 36K feet up in the air, deep in thought, tears began pouring, uncontrollably. My focus was on the nakedness of a left hand finger. The very finger that I figured, by this point in my life, would be adorned by a symbol of love, a till-dealth-do-us-part commitment. Tears still streaming, breath short, *the man sitting uncomfortably next to me*..unable to pull myself together.
Looking out into the wispy white I silently lifted up a prayer. Deep breath. Then a peace, not audible or spelled out in letters and lights, but a cradling of my soul, a deep caring for my heart. A reminder of the promise given years ago.
In truth, I've worn the label single as an embarrassment, shame. Because, you see, most of my friends are past the marriage stage, and are having or have had their children. How many times have I stood beside dear friends as they committed their lives to another? Rejoicing with laughter and tears. And then welcomed their sweet little ones, while feeling the piercing desire to one day gaze upon my own. Or held hands and petitioned expectantly for those who could not conceive, wondering if they realize the depth to which I understand their sorrow.
The whys are unrelenting. Where do I belong? And how much longer must I wait? In my head I know that this season is producing endurance and perseverance, but my heart aches.
And then the questions of *when are you going to settle down and start a family?* as if settling has anything to do with it. Settling is not an option. I have a calling and a purpose; I have not wasted my life recklessly on this world, but rather have offered a life of reckless abandon to my Maker. My longing to live an extraordinary life for him trumps my willingness to be content with the status quo. He knows what is best for each one, and it is in the comparing myself to others that I begin to dwell on my have nots.
Yet, when hope seems like a distant memory He will often lift my head and remind me of his love..with airplanes, promises. Taking me to days much like the one where He romanced my heart high above the clouds. He is working it out. He is never early. He is never late.
Like the pilot He sees what's ahead, He knows where we're going. So, I can either rely on my limited window view or trust in His all knowing-ness. I choose to trust. I choose faith for what is still unseen.
So, audaciously, expectantly, boldly I pray for this desire to be fulfilled. Even when others have given up, I choose to believe that He is able. He knit me together, He knows every hair on my head, He knows my every thought. He has not forgotten me..
nor has He forgotten you.
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." --Isaiah 41:13
Sunday, July 21, 2013
today
Standing on the beach, toes at that line where the water barely graces the sand. Sinking into the cool. Looking out over the waves and beyond. Glorious.
Standing atop a 14K mountaintop. Crisp, fresh air. Scenery stretching for miles. Still and quiet. Breathtaking.
Precious life moments when time stands still and the grandeur of creation is oh so evident are treasures to behold. Perhaps these are times that make us feel small, or perhaps these are the moments that remind us to dream big. It is nearly impossibly to feel limits when looking over the vast reach of nature.
We settle for ordinary, when it is in the reaching for extraordinary that we find and experience greatness. There is no one recipe to follow to achieve a life well lived. It does, however, require us to step outside of comfortable, embrace some unknowns and face some fears.
Starting small, inching forward--the dream is in sight. Reach. Fight. Go. Often the first step towards extraordinary is saying no to the lies you are believing, or even telling yourself. You can do it. You were made for great things. Negativity has no place in your life. Maybe that was yesterday, but today..today your heart is pounding and you know that complacent sitting is not on the agenda.
No.
Today you'll need your waders..
Standing atop a 14K mountaintop. Crisp, fresh air. Scenery stretching for miles. Still and quiet. Breathtaking.
Precious life moments when time stands still and the grandeur of creation is oh so evident are treasures to behold. Perhaps these are times that make us feel small, or perhaps these are the moments that remind us to dream big. It is nearly impossibly to feel limits when looking over the vast reach of nature.
We settle for ordinary, when it is in the reaching for extraordinary that we find and experience greatness. There is no one recipe to follow to achieve a life well lived. It does, however, require us to step outside of comfortable, embrace some unknowns and face some fears.
Starting small, inching forward--the dream is in sight. Reach. Fight. Go. Often the first step towards extraordinary is saying no to the lies you are believing, or even telling yourself. You can do it. You were made for great things. Negativity has no place in your life. Maybe that was yesterday, but today..today your heart is pounding and you know that complacent sitting is not on the agenda.
No.
Today you'll need your waders..
Sunday, July 14, 2013
hereto forth and forevermore
What happens when faith stops posing as a noun and begins to act as a verb should? Going. Doing. Leaping. Believing. When prayers whispered on bended knee are followed by armor bearing warriors ready and willing to fight the good fight. The decision has been made, feet are moving forward. The troops have been loosed.
It is in the daring that the yes is worth the risk even when failure is a possibility. Because, you see, it's not always that what you are doing is wrong, but maybe the wrong lies in what you are not doing. What is failure anyway? And really, is it the failure that you will regret more..or the *what ifs?* Failure is not inevitable, it is not the only possible outcome. For truly it is often in the perceived failures that we find the greatest breakthrough. Perhaps your dream is only a risk away. Are you willing to say yes?
Let start something great. One decision. One step. One day at a time.
It is in the daring that the yes is worth the risk even when failure is a possibility. Because, you see, it's not always that what you are doing is wrong, but maybe the wrong lies in what you are not doing. What is failure anyway? And really, is it the failure that you will regret more..or the *what ifs?* Failure is not inevitable, it is not the only possible outcome. For truly it is often in the perceived failures that we find the greatest breakthrough. Perhaps your dream is only a risk away. Are you willing to say yes?
Let start something great. One decision. One step. One day at a time.
Monday, June 10, 2013
monday, funday
115. The number of emails eagerly awaiting responses this Monday morning. Every email of urgent importance, every one needing an answer yesterday. Skimming the subject lines gives me an idea of where to start the attack--with the easy ones. Always start with the easy ones, the handful that can be knocked out in a few minutes, responded to with a simple sentence, word or even a :). Some emails are meant for accountability, *I met with 7 folks this weekend,* and merely warrant an encouraging stamp of approval: Fantastic! Way to go! Others are more detailed and emotion filled, questioning, needing assurance, assistance, a definite answer. Those require more thought and care, carefully crafted words that will both encourage and challenge when needed.
My office walls are covered with smiling prayer cards--each card representing folks who are eager to serve, sure of their calling, confidently stepping out of the boat and into the unknown. Only, their smiles can be deceiving. What these prayer cards hide are the tearful moments we spend petitioning together, the times of doubt where their thoughts must be redirected back to the stones of remembrance, and the overwhelming challenges of setting up appointments and asking individuals to join their support team. I walk through the hard, celebrate through the good and walk alongside of them through everything in between.
Some days I go home exhausted, spent. I've poured out, emptied and need fuel. After all, I am the answer knower and giver, and if I don't know an answer I must search, dig and ask until I do. I often feel overwhelmed because this "job" is so much bigger than me, weightier and more precious than gold. And, just when I feel like I'm sinking I open an email that contains sweet, soul piercing words:
Reflecting upon the day's emails I have a fresh perspective. My inbox is once again [almost] empty, today's troubles were taken care of and all has been made right. Tuesday will be a new day, with new worries, trials and celebrations, but for now I will enjoy the calm.
My office walls are covered with smiling prayer cards--each card representing folks who are eager to serve, sure of their calling, confidently stepping out of the boat and into the unknown. Only, their smiles can be deceiving. What these prayer cards hide are the tearful moments we spend petitioning together, the times of doubt where their thoughts must be redirected back to the stones of remembrance, and the overwhelming challenges of setting up appointments and asking individuals to join their support team. I walk through the hard, celebrate through the good and walk alongside of them through everything in between.
Some days I go home exhausted, spent. I've poured out, emptied and need fuel. After all, I am the answer knower and giver, and if I don't know an answer I must search, dig and ask until I do. I often feel overwhelmed because this "job" is so much bigger than me, weightier and more precious than gold. And, just when I feel like I'm sinking I open an email that contains sweet, soul piercing words:
And thank you for your encouraging words. They are genuine and from your heart, and that goes a long way, knowing you are praying for us and walking with us through this journey. You do your job well, and He has gifted you with many amazing gifts to lead us...Sweeping away the loosed tears I am reminded that what I am doing is beyond my ability. He has gifted, He has generously lavished, He has given unconditionally. I mustn't let myself carry the weight of burdens that are not mine to bear.
Reflecting upon the day's emails I have a fresh perspective. My inbox is once again [almost] empty, today's troubles were taken care of and all has been made right. Tuesday will be a new day, with new worries, trials and celebrations, but for now I will enjoy the calm.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
rest assured
Circles. I draw them a lot. They denote the circumference of specific promises. Purple. Pink. Blue. Some are inked in my favorite Sharpie colors, others have been invisibly traced with my finger. Numerous times these promises have been outlined; some have come to fruition while the glorious arrival of some are still unseen. Rather than running aimlessly in circles, I am circling these promises in prayer, obediently laying down every request before His throne, purposefully and expectantly.
I've been circling some promises for years...many, many years. Why do some seem to happen so quickly, while others take their sweet time? Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Yet, when I want to quit he renews my strength. When things seem hopeless he fills me with assurance. And in the storm, peace. That sweet peace that surpasses all knowledge. A peace that goes beyond feelings. A knowing peace that deeply pierces the soul. He never provides too early--He never provides too late.
I know that you know that I know that you know. I smile as I figure that sums it up. He knows. I know He knows. He knows that I know that He knows. And, with that revelation I am reminded that He has bottled every tear, remembered my every utterance and is working all things out.
After all, He's got this.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
unperfection
My house overlooks a picturesque view of the Rocky Mountains in one of the top cities to live in the US. I enjoy 300 days of sunshine, perfect for running, biking, hiking, skiing. I joyfully work in full-time ministry and attend a life-giving church. I sip perfectly creamed cups of coffee on my porch and enjoy early morning sunshine with the Word and my journal.
I could probably also add my life > your life because that seems to be a thing these days. In this Instagram, social media driven life we all have perfect lives, walking on sunshine has finally been achieved. No one Instagrams the whole truth, but rather portrays life through filters. In revealing more truth I should probably also tell you that my view of the mountains is partially obstructed by the old, [ugly], homes across the street, and while I do live in one of the top cities in the nation, it also happens to have one of the highest suicide rates. The weather is usually mild, but last year it was so dry that my city hosted one of the largest and most destructive fires in Colorado history.
And, yes, I am in full-time ministry and hope to be for the rest of my life. However, my current role is more stressful and pressure-filled than any other position I've held. Ministry happens to be hard work. My character has been stretched as I find myself working, more often than not, out of my weaknesses rather than strengths. It's an honor and privilege, yes, and I'm trusting that I'm learning necessary skills and lessons that will aid in one day fulfilling a dream to speak and write. Oh, and about the Word reading and journaling..true at times, but lately my pen can't ink because my words are few, the season dry.
I count it a blessing that I am surrounded by others who willingly share in my less than perfect, my mess, my [many] tears. Those who are not only willing to *follow* me, but also to dig deep and walk alongside of me in the ugly, sharing and sharpening. Life is not perfect, faith is necessary. Our concern should not be in the portraying of perfection around us, but in the very development towards perfection that He is working within us.
I could probably also add my life > your life because that seems to be a thing these days. In this Instagram, social media driven life we all have perfect lives, walking on sunshine has finally been achieved. No one Instagrams the whole truth, but rather portrays life through filters. In revealing more truth I should probably also tell you that my view of the mountains is partially obstructed by the old, [ugly], homes across the street, and while I do live in one of the top cities in the nation, it also happens to have one of the highest suicide rates. The weather is usually mild, but last year it was so dry that my city hosted one of the largest and most destructive fires in Colorado history.
And, yes, I am in full-time ministry and hope to be for the rest of my life. However, my current role is more stressful and pressure-filled than any other position I've held. Ministry happens to be hard work. My character has been stretched as I find myself working, more often than not, out of my weaknesses rather than strengths. It's an honor and privilege, yes, and I'm trusting that I'm learning necessary skills and lessons that will aid in one day fulfilling a dream to speak and write. Oh, and about the Word reading and journaling..true at times, but lately my pen can't ink because my words are few, the season dry.
I count it a blessing that I am surrounded by others who willingly share in my less than perfect, my mess, my [many] tears. Those who are not only willing to *follow* me, but also to dig deep and walk alongside of me in the ugly, sharing and sharpening. Life is not perfect, faith is necessary. Our concern should not be in the portraying of perfection around us, but in the very development towards perfection that He is working within us.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
dreamweaver
Of all the days I wish we could sit down for a cup of coffee, it'd be today. It's April 17 and the sky is pouring snow. And I happen to love it! We would exchange pleasantries, like lovely weather we're having, isn't it?, and sip our coffee, (or tea if you prefer), before frolicking in the backyard to make snow angels. I'd probably let you do that last part alone, though, because I'd have to get out my ski pants, put on my smart wool socks, layer and zip and you'd probably only want to stay out there for like 5 minutes so it really wouldn't be worth it.
But what I would really love to talk about is self-talk. This subject has been coming up a lot lately through conversations with friends, the people that I train and equip for overseas service, dove commercials..really everywhere. Turns out, most of us are believing the negative things that we tell ourselves. We're letting fear, doubt, shame, and insecurities take control--and most of us are doing it alone. Maybe we're afraid that talking about our struggles will push others away, maybe we're afraid no one will understand, maybe we've lived with the lies so long that we believe them as truth and wouldn't know how to live without them.
Jon Acuff recently launched a site that allows folks to share their fears; a place where people can go and, maybe for the first time, realize that they're not alone in their struggles. I've visited No More Voices a couple of times and read the confessions through tears, wanting to give each precious individual a big hug, as in a memaw type hug, not a wimpy side hug, y'all. I want to tell them they've got it all wrong and they are a big deal, precious, priceless.
Then I realize I so quickly see the lies that others believe but am often blind to my own. Perhaps the correct response to my self-talk is not I know after all. Perhaps those impossible dreams should be the very starting point of faith. The launching pad for a life well-lived, with purpose and direction.
What would happen if we started praying for the impossible dreams of each other. When big prayers are answered we see that it's not about our weight or our looks, or all the awful in our pasts. It's about grace. It's about love. It's about recognizing and using our gifts and talents to glorify the very One who so generously lavishes good upon us.
And as the miracles start happening all around us I hope we will look back and wonder what it was that held us back in the first place.
Now, do you take cream?
But what I would really love to talk about is self-talk. This subject has been coming up a lot lately through conversations with friends, the people that I train and equip for overseas service, dove commercials..really everywhere. Turns out, most of us are believing the negative things that we tell ourselves. We're letting fear, doubt, shame, and insecurities take control--and most of us are doing it alone. Maybe we're afraid that talking about our struggles will push others away, maybe we're afraid no one will understand, maybe we've lived with the lies so long that we believe them as truth and wouldn't know how to live without them.
Jon Acuff recently launched a site that allows folks to share their fears; a place where people can go and, maybe for the first time, realize that they're not alone in their struggles. I've visited No More Voices a couple of times and read the confessions through tears, wanting to give each precious individual a big hug, as in a memaw type hug, not a wimpy side hug, y'all. I want to tell them they've got it all wrong and they are a big deal, precious, priceless.
Then I realize I so quickly see the lies that others believe but am often blind to my own. Perhaps the correct response to my self-talk is not I know after all. Perhaps those impossible dreams should be the very starting point of faith. The launching pad for a life well-lived, with purpose and direction.
What would happen if we started praying for the impossible dreams of each other. When big prayers are answered we see that it's not about our weight or our looks, or all the awful in our pasts. It's about grace. It's about love. It's about recognizing and using our gifts and talents to glorify the very One who so generously lavishes good upon us.
And as the miracles start happening all around us I hope we will look back and wonder what it was that held us back in the first place.
Now, do you take cream?
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
oh so
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12
Excitement builds as the promise is remembered. Today could be the day. This could be the day of breakthrough..the miracle witnessed. Yesterday's tears are in the past, the future is bright. New mercies are graciously lavished over this new day. Memories waiting around every corner--remember these days.
Palms up, ready to receive, willing to release. Eyes observing the abundant life all around. Circumstances not affecting the abounding joy within, for Hope is not found in things. Smiles exchanged, life shared and sharpened. Phones ringing, laughter rising, clicking of fingers on keys. All familiar and ordinary...yet, somehow extraordinary.
Truth spoken, tears spilled, coffee sipped. Sending silent prayers for situations described. Thank you, Father, for promises that are true always. Unsure of what will come, yet confident in knowing that He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. And He is. Yes. He is.
Deep breath in, exhale. Repeat. He's got this, dear one, just like He's had all the others. He's got this. Uncontrollable smile, shaking of the head, spirit bubbling, anticipation rising. This could be the day.
Palms up, ready to receive, willing to release. Eyes observing the abundant life all around. Circumstances not affecting the abounding joy within, for Hope is not found in things. Smiles exchanged, life shared and sharpened. Phones ringing, laughter rising, clicking of fingers on keys. All familiar and ordinary...yet, somehow extraordinary.
Truth spoken, tears spilled, coffee sipped. Sending silent prayers for situations described. Thank you, Father, for promises that are true always. Unsure of what will come, yet confident in knowing that He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. And He is. Yes. He is.
Deep breath in, exhale. Repeat. He's got this, dear one, just like He's had all the others. He's got this. Uncontrollable smile, shaking of the head, spirit bubbling, anticipation rising. This could be the day.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
confetti angels
People are often surprised by my knowledge of and enthusiasm for the game of football. Whereas my true loyalty and affection will always be with the Crimson Tide, like I proved on Sunday night, put some former Bama players on a team with Michael Oher and you'd think I was a Ravens fan for life. I'm not.
The only reason I would ever play for the NFL: confetti angels.
Although I would probably have to stop calling players, little *insert name.*
But seriously, look how much fun he's having in that confetti!
So, yay Ravens!
Go ahead and take your 24 hours to celebrate.
Time's up.
With all the excitement surrounding the Super Bowl there are still two things weighing on my mind. First of all, the sobering fact that the Super Bowl is the largest human trafficking incident in the United States. I know, I didn't even give you a Debbie Downer alert. The fact is, though, that it's truth..and now that I know, and now that you know, we can't unknow, you know? How is it that modern day slavery happens here in the land of the free, yet remains in the shadows? It's uncomfortable..I'd rather stay in my safe, happy bubble. If we don't acknowledge it perhaps it will just go away. Hmm..
...And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8
Before my next point I would like to applaud both Jennifer Hudson and Alicia Keys--thank you both! I'm pretty sure I cried when the kids from Sandy Hook started until kick-off..really beautiful.
The other thing that was blatantly in our faces, yet perhaps we are just as blind to was the halftime entertainment. Our culture is sneaky and often innuendos are so subtle that we don't even know they are happening, they creep in slowly over time. I mean, can we all agree that Beyonce is stunning and talented? And that if anyone could pull off wearing a sackcloth it would be her? Really, she is a beautiful, strong woman. But, what message do we, as women, receive when she is jirating around the stage in her skimpy "outfit?" What message does that send to our men about women?
And, this subleness is not only finding it's way onto stage performances, it has found its way into every aspect of our culture. I know, we call it entertainment, and the media, we make excuses and say we know where to draw the line. We no longer listen to the meanings of lyrics as long as we like the beats. Our culture is sneaky, and I'm becoming more and more aware of it's tricks. But what do we expect when we let in garbage?
My circle of friends has changed over the past years; I find that I now am around more families and children. And, on Sunday night I just wanted to sweep up in my arm the beautiful little girls of some of my dear friends and remind them: You is smart. You is kind. You is important. Adding: You is beautiful. Of course, the grammar nerd that I am would never allow me to say those phrases, but you appreciate my The Help reference, right?
I know some of the most beautiful women, world-changers. I am surrounded by women who are faithfully raising god-fearing children, running businesses, publishing books, teaching, counseling, giving and pouring in ways that may never be celebrated here on earth. And they are called beautiful. And they are called talented. And they are called beloved. And by they I mean you and me, we.
So, let's celebrate beauty. Let's celebrate gifts and talents. Let's be the difference that our culture truly craves. Let's be women of integrity and truth. Let's be women that we would be proud for our little girls to look up to and model their lives after. Let's make our own confetti angels.
Love,
andrea
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