yes please

It’s been quite some time since I intentionally set aside more than my daily “quiet time” with the Lord. I’ve felt His gentle whisper inviting me to fellowship with Him, never demanding but always hopeful. My life is busy these days. The truth is, however, that I just haven’t wanted to spend extra time with Him lately. I know that He’s going to ask me to do things that are uncomfortable and, quite frankly, I’m tired of hearing crickets concerning certain situations. I’m tired of crying tears that seem to go unnoticed. I’m tired of serving Him with so much and feeling so…tired. I'm tired of simply going through the motions. Be still, my beloved.

So I got up early Saturday morning, devoting my day to prayer and fellowship. Within minutes of pouring my morning coffee I was praising Him for the beautiful, crisp morning, his goodness and grace, his provision. I then began thanking Him for the many amazing women in my life and lifting up their spoken and unspoken needs and requests. Isn’t that just like the Lord? Redirecting our affections off of ourselves. It was only then that the Lord began dealing with my own heart issues. Am I even expecting the Lord to accomplish all that He has promised? Do I pray with the same faith for myself that I do for others? Do I need to forgive someone(s)?

It’s amazing how refreshed my soul was after my morning with Him. Seriously, refreshed. And while I am still a work in progress I am immensely grateful that to the Lord for continually renewing my mind. And, thankful that He has equipped me with everything I will need for this journey. 

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Tim. 3:17

I love you, dear ones! Press on!

poor poor pitiful...me?

I'm having one of those weeks where everything seems to be annoying me. Of course, the slurping of coffee and chomping of gum are things that always send a surge of annoyance up my spine. But this week I have been hyper-sensitive. I was annoyed by things like the sound of typing keyboards, low humming and laughter. I know. And then I'd get annoyed for being annoyed at such trivial things.

The past couple of weeks have been hard, but last Thursday I hit the peak. I was given some news that should have excited and flattered me, but instead it seemed to bring all of my insecurities to the surface. I mean, the chance of this thing actually happening is slim, but the point I'm making here is that there is a chance that this thing could happen. When I think about the ways that the Lord is moving in my life it both scares and excites me. So last Thursday as I was laying wide awake feeding my insecurities of not being (add insecurity) enough I was convicted by the fact that I have been so self-absorbed lately. The devil comes to *steal , kill and destroy* and that's exactly what he has been accomplishing within me lately. I've let him whisper lies to me and I've accepted them as truth. So, I'm working on the second part of that verse *I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.*

I want a full life. So, I've started the process, again, of letting the Lord search those places in my heart that are guarded by lock and key. It's hard, but the beautiful thing is that He will never tell me that I'm not (add insecurity) enough. For, I am the apple of His eye and nothing that I do will separate me from his perfect love. That's just freeing. And it makes me feel like dancing. If I were an iPod girl I'd like to think that I would look something like this:

damage control

Last night something terrible happened--hail! We've had so much of the stuff this year and I don't like it one bit! Here's a picture of the garden in my backyard. Poor little guy. :(

I didn't have a chance to survey the damage this morning, but last night I saw that most of those baby plants were broken right in two. I'm hopeful that this garden will still produce fruit, maybe those cute little tomatoes and peppers will grow up to be big and fat and strong. After all, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I think about all of the hours of watering and weeding that went into that little plot. Hours! My roommate has been so faithful to those tender plants. The really sad part is that the storm lasted, oh...5 minutes? All those hours of hard word destroyed in 5 minutes?!?

And then I started thinking about myself, and the storms that I have lived through. Is my faith weak? Will I break under the weight and pressure that life throws my way? Or, is my faith growing stronger each day, being refined and perfected by the storms and fires? I'm going for big and fat and strong faith--I don't ever want to be accused of having wimpy, skinny faith...ever! Big and Beautiful! Big and Beautiful! But, you know what? That kind of faith requires my willingness to allow the Lord to water, weed and prune me in order for the woman He created to shine as He intended from the beginning of time itself.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. -James 1:2-4

dancing on the rooftop top of the world

My heart truly overfloweth tonight. I've lived in Ft. Collins for 9 months now (9 months!) and tonight as I looked around a room full of beautiful women my eyes filled with tears. This is where the Lord wants me at this time, these are some of the women that I get to do life with, these are some of the women that I have the privilege and honor to pour into, to minister to, to encourage. And, they are the ones that I'm going to be leaning on and sharing my hopes and disappointments with as well. I left an amazing community of brothers and sisters back in Alabama and, quite honestly, I was really doubtful that I would find that here. It's different, no doubt, but good. No...it's great! What a unique community Ft. Collins has and I am so thankful that the Lord answers prayer even when my faith is small. He has provided me with more than I even dared to ask. I can't say that this happened out of the blue for I have been very intentional, but I can tell you that it happened naturally and rather flawlessly...almost like He knows the plans that He has for me... And by almost I mean assuredly so. Ahh! Community.

wonder

"What in the world have I done to deserve this?" Oh, the possibilities of what this might be. Trust me, this can get pretty ugly. Especially those times when I feed my flesh woman with self-pity.

However, today was not one of those days at all. I got a new bike and I'm discovering more and more Ft. Collins beauty. I have a great view of the mountains, some snow-capped, others close enough to hike daily. It's been raining (and hailing) like crazy the past months and it's so green. It's beautifully breathtaking, really. My heart [about] leapt out of my chest this afternoon.

I don't want to take this place for granted--who knows where the Lord will lead me in the future.

L.A. New York. Paris. China. Colorado.

(Yes, I'm now singing the One Republic song)

God's creation is so beautiful, and I don't know what it is about the mountains...but I hope that they will always remind me of God's might and power...His Majesty!

I love how God reveals himself, sometimes in the most unexpected of places. This pic is from a coffee google search, apparently it's from a tweet by JTH. My day would absolutely be made if my coffee had this message.  Hmmm...maybe on my next shift I'll try this...

How has God impressed you lately?

mirrored

I know so many amazing women. I love listening to their stories, crying with them, encouraging them, praying over them...it really makes my heart smile. Even though women are broken, battered and bruised the Lord has given me, what I believe to be, a gift to see them as He sees them. The stories that these women are often so ashamed of are the very stories that soften my heart and remind me that the Lord's got this precious gem in His hands.

Sadly, I do not view men the same way. Over the past months the Lord has been revealing my judgmental attitude towards them. Once I feel that a man has "failed" at something I write him off my list...putting him in the "no" category. I have unrealistically high expectations for men. For some reason the idea that failure equates lack of spiritual depth, leadership and strength has been imprinted into my mind. I know, you're probably giving me a dirty look through the screen. Don't worry, I have been convicted of this attitude and have actually started seeing the image of the Father in the men around me--the same men I'd already put enthusiastically into the never category. Now let me share some of these beautiful revelations:

*Protection--the strength of a strong arm who steadies my step so I won't slip.
*Strength--living out convictions.
*Leadership--taking the initiative to pray over a circumstance rather than discuss facts or complain.
*Love--surrounding a brother in a time of need.
*Compassion--offering an understanding smile to my tears.
*Wisdom--speaking truth in love.
*Understanding--participating simply because it's something I enjoy.

I'm so humbled by this new revelation, and have enjoyed seeing my brothers through the eyes of the Father.

blessed

It's time to count my blessings.

I'll narrow them down to 11 since it's the 11th, (clever, I know)

I'm so grateful



11. I'm completely debt free--I have been since I sold my house in Dec. Still feels good.

10. My health--I haven't been sick since I moved back to CO, not even with the sniffles!

9. My job--I get paid to meet folks, hear their stories and pray with them.

8. Team--I work with amazing, supportive men and women.

7. Coffee Shops--I love coffee and cozy atmospheres. Plenty to choose from in Ft. Collins.

6. Growth--My heart is being softened in ways I never thought possible.

5. Mountains--I get to enjoy the Rocky Mountains every single day!!

4. Being Active--I love being outdoors. Skiing, hiking, running, biking, love them all.

3. Missionary Barista--that's right, I'm a barista!

2. Church--Found one! Getting involved and connected makes me smile.

1. Friends--I've met some incredible people! I ♥ friends!

There's so much more to be grateful for, but I'll save those for another time.

What are you grateful for today?