blessing or curse?

Hello, dear bloggy friend! You're looking just lovely today. I've had a wonderfully relaxing weekend with some beautiful surprises...the Lord just continues to remind me of His deep, unending love for me. It's both humbling and overwhelming to know that the Creator of the universe is in reckless pursuit of me, and you too! This week I was reminded of the power we hold in our words. I love encouraging and spurring others on...love! I had the honor of encouraging a dear woman that I've been working with for the past few months. She called me crying from a public library restroom. Through prayer and Truth this sister began to realize, yet again, that the Lord has not forgotten her, that He does indeed have a plan and purpose for her life. I love how Proverbs 16:24 describes gentle words as honeycomb, sweetness to the soul. Who doesn't want their words to be described as sweetness to the soul, right?

You know, with our words we speak either life or death, blessing or curse. I don't know about you, but I want to be a life giver, building others up in Truth and encouraging them in their calling. Of course we misuse our words at times, we're human, but, what would it be like if we were more aware and careful with our words? What if we were more careful with our twitters and our facebook status updates? I love reading funny updates, encouraging scripture updates, life updates. I don't like reading complainy, ugly updates. I know it's so easy to complain about that person that just cut you off in traffic, but I challenge you to "hold back your thumbs." We need to know when it's better to tweet nothing at all. An SUV pulled in front of me the other day and the back end was plastered with bumper stickers that reminded me that I need to be praying for not only the man driving the SUV, but the Church in general.

Let's be Joy Givers, speakers of life and Truth. Let's be those little lights that we've been singing about since childhood. May our lives point others towards Christ.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29

I love this song by Gungor, Beautiful Things:

Be blessed! Be a blessing!

reckless

Jump! I'll catch you! These words were spoken to me as I was standing on the diving board as a young girl. My swimming instructor was loosing her patience with me. Why couldn't I just make the commitment to jump? I wanted to. Really I did, but I just couldn't do it...not then. I was so petrified and her exasperation only upset me more. I was afraid of the water, but more than that I didn't trust her. It was my daddy who taught me how to float on my back and dive into the water. I trusted him, and even though the water was scary I knew he would always be there to catch me.

Jump, my love! I hear this phrase often from the One who knows me best. Sometimes it comes as a whisper, sometimes as a loud shout. Sometimes the jumps require me to overcome pride. Go talk to that man. Give her a call. Apologize for your attitude. At other times the jumps require blind faith. Move to China. Quit your job, even though you do not have another one lined up. Lately, it seems, the Lord is asking me to trust in the *impossible.* Ask and you shall receive. Pray always. This type of leap is the hardest for me because it literally takes me out of the equation. The Lord is teaching me to pray in faith, trust Him completely. Which, honestly, is really beautiful because I'll be able to rejoice and give Him all the praise when He brings these things about in His perfect timing. 

Beautiful Trust

I pray that I will take these seemingly reckless leaps of faith all my days, knowing that the arms I will fall into will always be there to catch me, comfort me, guide me. Remembering that even more than my earthly father, my Heavenly Father will never fail me. I pray that my response, and yours, to His calling will always be a confident, trusting, *Yes, Lord.*

Press on! Keep jumping.

key2free

Dear Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Go throughout the city of Jerusalem and put a mark on the forehead of those who grieve and lament over all the detestable things that are done in it. ~Ezekiel 9:4

As I was reading in Ezekiel yesterday those words pierced my heart, quite literally, they brought me to tears. The Lord was about to allow massive destruction in the city due to the grotesque defilement taking place, sparing only the lives of those with the mark. They would be known as the remnant. What sets us apart today? Our crosses? Our fish? Our WWJD bracelets? But, are we grieving and lamenting over the detestable things taking place in our world? Are our heart really breaking for things like injustice, poverty, slavery?

A couple of years ago the Lord began breaking my heart for the victims of human trafficking. The numbers are overwhelming with an estimated 27 million victims worldwide; there are more victims of slavery today than ever before. This is even a problem here in America, where we proudly boast, Land of the Free! That's not what the tens of thousands of victims in the US alone are thinking. What can I do? I'm glad you asked...

I encourage you to check out an organization that I support called The A21 Campaign. It was started by the wildly passionate and inspirationally fierce Christine Caine. While you can always make a donation or buy paraphernalia that will support the cause and even help start conversations with others, there is a specific way to get involved on Friday November 11-by hosting a Key2Free party. Yes. A party. Check out the website for more details. You can do something. You have resources. You have friends. You have a voice.

Let's be those world changers that we all dream about being. Together we can make a difference. Together we can help end human trafficking. So, if you didn't know...now you do. Go. Be a voice for the voiceless.

Consider yourselves encouraged and empowered! Go get em! xx

break my heart

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here--here being America, not the proverbial philosophical here. I so badly want to be right there on the front lines, in the trenches...overseas, reaching the unreached. I see those precious little faces from Africa, Asia, the Middle East and I immediately want to GO. I mean, after all, aren't we called to Go and make disciples of all nations? And then I go to a staff meeting where my boss is opening his Bible to the scripture passage that will lead our meeting. *reality check* I am in the trenches. I am fighting the good fight. AND, I have the absolute honor and privilege of helping equip and send others that will touch lives and shine Light all over Asia! I am mobilizing others who together will reach more people than I could alone--I get to be a part, however small that may be, of their work. Without doubt the Lord has called me here to Colorado for this season, long or short, and I am committed to serving him with excellence no matter where I am.

I absolutely love women's ministry--love! My heart overflows with joy when I have the opportunity to listen to the stories of women, pour into their lives, encourage them with truth. You are so deeply loved, dear one. Deeply. Purely. Endlessly loved by the Lord of the Universe, the one who calls you princess. And, you were created for a purpose. It gives me chills just thinking about the power of the spoken Truth. I've seen chains broken, strongholds released and hope restored. Absolutely beautiful! As I've been realizing my heart's passions, the Lord has also stirred in me an urgency for caring for the poor, those imprisoned and without a voice, the abused. I've always felt compassion, yet felt too overwhelmed to do anything. I cannot stand silently any longer. I have resources, I have a voice and I am determined to do something to help put an end to poverty and human trafficking. The numbers are overwhelming, but we can all do something...we, as believers, are called to help the poor, not turn a blind eye. The Bible is full of verses about caring for the poor, verses like Proverbs 31:9, defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Who knows where the Lord will lead me in the future. I've said yes to anywhere, anytime, anything, any cost. So, while I'm here in Colorado I will continue to pour into this community, serving and loving the poor, ministering to the precious women of this community and serving as a missionary barista. :)  What are you doing to reach out to the needy around you? I challenge you to do something. Invest into eternity. Step out of your comfort zone. Be Light in the darkness.

Press on and keep fighting the good fight, where ever you are, beloved!

snap...crackle...pop

I was feeling all Mary Tyler Moore today as I strolled the sidewalks of Old Town, skipping a bit; I even waved at some men who were painting one of the shops, readying it for it's grand opening. They waved. It was like my very own musical, minus the music and the other participants. Which reminds me...we really need to dance more...

This week we had our first snow. I'll admit, I was a bit of a doubting Debbie that we would actually get any because the news people got my hopes up so many times last year and we wouldn't even get one snowflake. This one was pretty big, though. Tuesday night we got about 7 inches of snow and it continued all day Wednesday. It was glorious. And I was glad to go into work on Wednesday because a branch fell on a power line and my power was out for about 10 hours. In fact about 150K people lost power in Northern Colorado due to that destructive snow. You see, the trees were not done being all fally and beautiful and most of them still had their beautifully colored leaves. Many of the limbs broke under the weight of the snow and leaves. Some big, some small, some old, some young. Clean-up efforts are still underway.

At first I was so sad for all of the trees; they were all droopy and I imagined them mourning the loss of their limbs. But then it occurred to me that those branches that broke off were weaker than the other ones, maybe some of them were already dying, maybe some of them were just not yet strong enough to carry weight, maybe some of them never would be strong enough. And, although the limbs were not removed cleanly or perhaps even properly, maybe the Lord was just pruning them natures way.

All of this got me to thinking about how often I question the Lord about things that He does. I just don't understand why you would do that, Lord. And He will remind of Isaiah 55:8 where He clearly states that his thoughts are not my thoughts, nor are my ways His ways. I think about the ways the Father has pruned/is pruning the bad from my life--things like perfectionism, lack of confidence and lack of faith. He's used circumstances and situations that I would have liked to avoid, but honestly, I needed to go though, I needed to feel the pain of walking through the fire and rejoice in it's refining power. I can guarantee you that I never thought that mourning the loss of a close friendship would lead to a deeper, more intimate prayer life. I never thought that utter and complete death spoken over me would lead to surrender and increased confidence in the woman that I am in Christ. And, I never could have imagined that being the new girl in a community, yet again, would soften my heart and open my eyes to new ministry opportunities to work both directly and indirectly with those who are imprisoned, voiceless, used and abused.

God is so good, and as long as there are areas that need to be pruned in my life I say, bring on the snow! Or fire! Wind, rain...or other element...


Blessings to you, dear one!

battle wound

I've had some things on my mind lately but haven't known quite how to put them down as meaningful strands of words. I've cried a lot this past week. True, I'm a crier, but lately my tears have been due to some harsh words spoken over me. I'm a recovering perfectionistic people-pleaser, but if I can just be transparent for a moment, I relapse into these habits more that I'd like to admit. About 2 years ago now I was given the freedom to fail and I'm walking in that as I'm learning to take faith risks, you know those scary times when the Lord asks you to do something irrational and downright crazy (in the world's eyes, anyway)? I'm also learning that not everyone is going to like me, accept me or even be nice to me. I've really struggled with sharing this story because I'm afraid of what you, my cyber-friends, might think of me, but it's a story I want to share...and maybe even more importantly, need to share.

Last week I met with a man who had registered for one of our programs. I went into the meeting thinking that I would explain more about our programs and answer any of his questions about the application process, support raising, and all the other steps involved in preparing to serve overseas. Apparently we didn't have the same agenda in mind and from the beginning I knew it wasn't going to go well. In his eyes I wasn't qualified to answer his questions and he was just never happy with my response to talk with our leadership about some of his "organizational" concerns and get back to him. The meeting started out uncomfortable and only got worse. In the course of 30 minutes I was told that I was one of the most disrespectful young women that this man had ever met, judgmental and that my attitude was borderline sinful. His attacks on my organization, age, gender and position were hard, but his attacks on my character cut me deep...I walked away from that meeting confused, beaten down and completely wounded. I've never in my life been talked to in such a demeaning manner, nor has death been spoken to me so directly. Immediately after this meeting I began to go over every little thing that happened, wondering how I could have acted so poorly when representing an organization that I love so dearly. His comments continue to ring in my ears even tonight. I accepted every harsh word he said, every evil eye he shot my way, every condescending wag of his finger. And, that night I actually believed those lies about myself.

I am now able to look at this situation with clearer vision. The comments spoken to me that night were straight from the enemy. I'm ashamed to say that I allowed this man to speak death straight into my life, yet I'm so very particular about those I allow to speak spiritual truth into my life. Why did I receive those lies so easily? One of my dear friends who is living in Vietnam sent me the greatest email and the last line is what struck me the most: all I can think is that some great things are on the horizon for someone to be working so hard against you. She knows my heart and knows what I believe the Lord is telling me as far as my future ministry. And lately I've had so many people speaking truth into who the Lord has made me to be that it really only makes sense that Satan would feel the need to kill, steal and destroy any amount of confidence that has been growing in my character, my hope, my faith. And maybe for the first time I'm really realizing that we are in a battle and that taking up my cross any following Him is something that I must do every single day. Although I've released these words from my life, I'm still healing from the wounds that they left behind. They're still tender and I continually go to the Lord for healing...for Him to speak truth into these lie wounds. And here is just a portion of what He's been telling me...

My love, you are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the apple of my eye. You are my daughter, my princess, and I have big plans for your life. I created you and more than anything...I love you.

My Father's words sooth, heal and empower me to do His will. And, I find that when I believe these words I am able to pray for this man and his future, that he will be blessed in all that he does. I am thankful that my wounds are turning into scars because I know that my scars will act as Light for others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

You are deeply loved, dear ones!

stan

Today I'm working from a Starbucks right in the middle of Nashville. I'm sitting outside under the covered porch just minding my own business and enjoying the pretty music coming from my new purple ear buds. It's a beautiful day, about 80 degrees I'd guess and as long as the chilly breeze stays away I'm almost perfect, temperature wise (with my hoodie on of course).

As I was sitting here answering emails and preparing my calls and meeting for the afternoon a man sat down at a table across from me, clothes tattered and old backpack stuffed full of probably all he owns. Immediately the Lord told me to offer this man something to eat...my thoughts were flooded with excuses. I don't want to offend him. I can't leave my computer and stuff here at the table. And the worst one of all, I'm really not comfortable going up to him. Really? You're going to be too inconvenienced to offer someone something to eat and drink? Well...this man, who is probably nameless or worse, faceless, to most, has a deep booming voice, and gives a good, firm hand shake. His name is Stan and he loves a good vanilla latte.

I tell you this story because I can't even fathom how many Stan's I've walked by, how many I've avoided because of some rational excuse. I'm ashamed of myself because I pray daily for opportunities to share the love of Christ with others and then I turn my nose up to, or coward at, the opportunities that the Lord entrusts to me. I'm heartbroken because our society is so numb, so blind to the needs of others. We have conditioned ourselves to avoid eye contact and walk on by the lame and hurting. We are so plugged in that we forget there are actually people, flesh and blood, breathing the same air around us. We stay inside our safe homes, our safe churches even, shining our light among other lights. But what about our call to be the Light in the places overwhelmed by darkness? Oh, no. Those are scary, unsafe, and we'll just leave those places for the really super spiritual folks.

I guess that's the thing about faith. It's not promised safety or comfort. But really, what good adventure is safe or comfortable? It's in the thrills that our breath is taken away, our hearts beat uncontrollably and we learn that it's way better to be right in the middle of the action than sitting on the sidelines watching. Let's be fierce warriors and warrior princesses. We are loved unconditionally and if we truly believe that Christ is the only way to salvation it's far more risky to do nothing.