looking ahead

Picture from IF: Gathering

There's something about a year's end that causes one to reflect on what has been and dream about all that will be. To exhale a sigh of release, and inhale deep, inviting hope for a brand new year.

In reality, the hurts, mess and un-forgiveness we refuse to address will follow us over the new year's threshold. January 1 is not the great eraser of all the bad of a past year, nor is it the magic wand that grants every wish and whim in the future. I spent much of 2015 hanging on to hurts from 2014. I thought I'd forgiven everyone, but in looking back I realize that I didn't let go of the guilt and shame that plagued me; instead, I clung to it like a security blanket. I don't even know what I felt guilty about, but lies have a way of creeping in and becoming their own reality.

It wasn't until around October that I'd had enough and decided to release. The words of that prayer echoed in the dark and the tangible peace in that place gave me the confidence to release everything. My biggest dreams. My deepest desires. My knuckles had been white long enough and in a whispered breath I placed in his hands that which should have been left there all along.

The very next day the Lord began to put some of my wildest dreams into motion. The very next day. I have said yes to some exciting opportunities and walked through doors that were not previously in sight. And as I look ahead and think about a new year the word that has been impressed upon my heat and mind is expectant. This year I want to be expectant.

Expectant that He hears my prayers.
Expectant that His promises are true always.
Expectant that He specifically placed each desire upon my heart.
Expectant that He is working out all things.
Expectant that He is able to do far more that I can even imagine.
Expectant that He will continue to guide me in my purpose.
Expectant. In. Him. Only.

This new year will be full of ups and downs, joys and tears. And through it all I want to be more audacious and bold and expectant than ever before, starting with my posture, my prayers. I want this year to be marked by the victories won on my knees, my attentiveness to his word and my obedience to his voice. I am saying good-bye to 2015 with a deep peace and fond memories and lessons learned. I am looking ahead at 2016 with confidence and an expectant hope and joy for all that is to come.

Will you join me?

The best is yet to come.

Welcome, 2016!