*Twinkle*

I love twinkle lights, the white ones...that don't jump around, but rather just hang out looking all sparkly and gorgeous. Yep. I really just love them. And, I think that they should be allowed to shine all year long. The trees here in Old Town Ft. Collins have little twinkle lights on them. It's so much fun to drive down the streets or walk along the old sidewalks; it's like my very own Winter Wonderland.

Tonight I took a detour through Old Town after church, sporting a huge smile on my face. You see, tonight the Lord answered my prayer that I start getting connected to a local body of believers here in Ft. Collins. My prayer was answered by a conversation with the pastor of the Aussi church here. I love seeing, hearing, and witnessing the passion of others, especially leaders. And, I can see how the Lord is going to allow me to use some of my past experiences, along with my own giftings and passions, to help this new church plant. It could very easily and quickly become my new church home.

And...I got an offer on my house!!! After 2 counter offers we finally agreed on a price and closing is set for December 23, 2010. I'm praying that everything goes smoothly and that I will no longer be a homeowner come Christmas. That would be a great Christmas present.

Keep Shining!

Stray Monday Thoughts

*Faith moves mountains. Do you believe this?

*Jeremiah 29:11 brings such comfort to my heart and soul.

*Coffee is at its finest when enjoyed with sweet friends in a cozy atmosphere.

*Toile can brighten up any space.

*Not only is standing in the gap for another a joy, it's also a privilege. Give it a try.

*Skipping and smiling go hand-in-hand.

*Finding the perfect pair of jeans is an instant ego boost.

*Proverbs 16:24 "Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and healing to the bones."

*Snow falling. Sipping hot tea. Sitting by the fire. Enough said.

*Realizing your style and embracing it = priceless.

*Doing what you love, and loving what you do. A blessing.

*Being tested beyond what you thought you could handle is an honor.

*Being a princess to the King of Kings has responsibilities that should not be taken lightly.

*Writing a thank you note requires so little, yet means so much.

*Having family as friends is a gift.

*Shooting stars are my heavenly reminders that He cares for me times infinity.

*Counting blessings is a humbling experience.

What stray thoughts brightened your day today?

The Great Church Hunt

One thing that I know to be so true is the fact that we need to be connected to a life-giving, Bible believing body where ever we are. It's so hard for me to not be connected anywhere yet. 

Tonight I decided I'd try a new church plant here in Ft. Collins. And just guess where this church is based out of? Australia. Isn't that just so crazy?!? Australia is planting in the US!

I really liked it. The worship was amazing, and the message was based on scripture, heartfelt, and unapologetic. I can't wait to go back.

I actually found out about Citipointe after hearing Aaron, the lead guy in the white shirt, play at another local church. His brother is the pastor of the campus here. The woman with the angelic voice is Aaron's wife. Too bad this is the Australia worship team.

Citipointe Live - You Are God (2010)

And, to top off this great evening, I was greeted with G'day!

Blessings to you!

Right to the Heart

I just love music that speaks right to my heart. You know, the kind that makes you wonder if the song was written just for you, specifically planned for your specific situation. I first heard this song this past summer during our 21 days of prayer. I literally started crying as I listened--the words of the song were so aligned with the worship of my heart.  Mysterious. Reverent. Haunting.

You're Beautiful by Phil Whickham

I just love it!

(And not just because of the Ohs,  although I do love worshiping with Ohs)

God, You're Beautiful!!!

Blessings!

10 Things I Miss about Alabama on the 10th

I put too much pressure on myself when it comes to blogging. I've decided that I'm going to make a more concerted effort to blog more often, even if it's about random stuff no one really cares about.

I really do love Colorado and am so happy to be back "home." I also really miss Alabama.

#10. Saying Roll Tide and people actually understanding what I mean.

#9. Alabama football--I think I will always be a big fan, but it's also kind of nice having free Saturdays in the Fall.

#8. The quad--yes, on game days, but mostly on breezy beautiful days during the week.

#7. Running at the Riverwalk.

#6. The first house I purchased.

#5. The smell.

#4. Workplay

#3. Montevallo.

#2. Highlands and my church family.

#1. My friends!!! More than anything I miss knowing and being known. I'm a quality time person.

Roll Tide!

Heart Hugs

I love it here!

Today at lunch I was looking around at my coworkers and thanking God for bringing me to this place. I love praying in the morning with this team; I love seeing the Body work together for the glory of our Father in heaven. And, I love that I am finally doing something that I believe in, that I love.

I hope you know that God loves you. He really does. But, do you know that God likes you? Really, he likes you. It's true! He is the only one who knows EVERYTHING, good and bad, about you, and still wants to spend every single moment with you. He is always sending special presents our way...straight to the heart. I call them heart hugs. For me, it's shooting stars, breathtaking views in the mountains, and stary nights. Of course my heart also loves rainbows, laughter, coffee shops, yummy smells...the list goes on.

Anyway, this weekend I went hiking with one of my roommates and the view we saw was absolutely beautiful! I always feel so small when I bask in God's creation, but you know what? I'm kind of a big deal to my Maker. :) And so are you.

What are some of your heart hugs?


Blessings!

Tears

Tears are funny little things. No two tears are exactly the same, nor do they all serve the same purpose. Oh, let's see...there's tears of sadness, anger, self-pity, happiness, excitement, overwhelming joy, love, regret, fear, laughter, the list goes on. I use them all, and I use them often. I once heard a friend say, "I've got emotions and I'm not afraid to use them." Ha! Me too.

So, my world has been utterly and completely rocked this past month. My wildest dreams are coming true; God has really been showing off lately. Remember that leap of faith that I took back in July--you know, the one where I quit my job with no new job possibility? It was scary, exciting, and more than anything it was completely necessary. Wow, was my faith ever strengthened. Out of the blue, for me, not God, I received an email from an organization I love asking if I'd be interested in a job with them. Are you kidding? Yes! The next week I had a phone interview, (I'm guessing that's what it was anyway), the following week they flew me out to Colorado to check out the job and town, and last Tuesday I was officially offered the job. And, two of the girls in the office have a roommate who is moving out in October, which just so happens to be the month I'll be starting--God hooked up my dream job and my room and board. You know what I did? Prayed. Yep, that's it. I didn't even know the position was available. So, now I'll be closer to my parents, doing a job that I'm so excited about for an organization that I love, and returning "home."

Of course, all of this is great! I've shed many tears of joy over God's faithfulness. It always makes me sad when I get surprised over God's faithfulness...He's God. He's faithful all the time. But, nonetheless, here I am completely blown away and humbled. But, for every tear of joy has come two tears of sadness, fear, uncertainty. Saying good-bye is hard. I've lived in Tuscaloosa for over 13 years. I have amazing friends. I belong to a God fearing, life-giving church body. I know and am known here. It's hard. I'm letting go of so much good, so many memories, but I know that in all of this letting go I'm letting God. Letting God take control. Letting God show me the way. Letting God use me as He sees fit. Letting go of good in order for God to reveal great.

"...You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book."

~Psalm 56:8

Blessings!

God?

This is not a question concerning His existence. Of that I am certain. No, this is a question pleading for help, direction, the *okay, here I am...what's next?* You see, for the past few months, years really, the Lord has been telling me that He has more planned for my life. And to that I say a hearty, *THANK YOU!* I so desire the kind of faith that leads people into the unknown, where they find the very thing that they were created for, their purpose. I want to be a giant, in the faith sort of way. You know why? Because I desire more than just living to live. More than just making it. Just plain more...more of Him and less of me.

I'm in the middle of the largest leap of faith I have ever taken. I put my house on the market back in April, and quit my job while I was in China in July. Why? Out of obedience. Period. I am far too rational, level-headed, and realistic to do such drastic things in the middle of a recession. And, you know what??? I believe He's opened up a door to something really exciting, and pointing me in the direction I've always desired. He's aligning everything and taking care of the smallest of details because He loves me so much deeper and purer than I ever even imagined. It's time!

It's time for me to take my place and step up to the higher calling that He has placed on my life. It's time for me to stop wondering what will happen when I step out. It's time for me to stop worrying about how everything is going to work out. It's time for me to start trusting that the Lord will provide for my every need, just as He always has. It's time for me to start living boldly and loving big. It's time. It's just time.

*Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.* ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings!

My Seester

Man! I miss my sister! She left for Utah on Monday and the house is so quiet and still without her. I sure hope I'm strong enough to make it here without my best friend. She really is my best friend. I love her and want the absolute best for her. She's going to do great things!

We have the same sense of humor. We are always quoting lines from our favorite movies. We're so funny. "A glad heart makes a cheerful face..." ~Proverbs 15:13

One of our favorite things to do is drive. Nowhere in particular, just drive. We've had so many good talks on these rides. "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good." ~Romans 12:9

She grew up too fast--she's such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made..." ~Psalm 139:14

I love you to the moon and back. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." ~1 Corinthians 13:4

We've been each others support through some pretty tough times. "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." ~1Thessalonians 5:11

And now...she's starting her own journey. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11

I love you little,

I love you big,

I love you like

a little pig.

Walking in my Wilderness

Picture from tearsinabottle.wordpress.com

Without a doubt, I know that I was not created for ordinary. No way! I'm a vessle of honor in the house of my Lord. And I refuse to settle. You know why? Because settling doesn't make sense; it won't make life easier, safer, more comfortable, or even more stable. In fact, He has reminded me over and over that the best place to be is in the center of His will. Plus, I like danger and adventure too much to live in the safety zone.

I recently read a book that I'm convinced was written just for me for this specific time in my life. It's called *One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Land* by Pricilla Shirer. Seriously, a must read, ladies! Pricilla mentions that we don't walk through desert times in our lives, rather we walk through the wilderness just as the Israelites did thousands of years ago. The distinction that she made between these two environments absolutely ROCKED my socks right off! A desert is a dry, harsh, hot, unforgiving, dusty, baron land. And, while a wilderness may have stretches that are less than appealing to the eyes and seem impossible to trek, in that very same wilderness you will also find little *pockets of paradise.* Running streams of cool, refreshing water, plush vegetation, rich vibrant colors, shade for the weary traveler.

How fitting that I am in Wyoming visiting my parents right after reading this book. Wyoming is so untouched in so many ways--I absolutely love God's attention to intricate details! My current wilderness is not knowing my future. Will my house sell? Where will I be living? How will I be using my giftings to serve the Lord? When will I become WE? So many dangling questions, yet I'm finding such joy in not knowing all the details because I know that I am going to be taken care of. I know that my worry will not find the answers quicker. And, you know what? The Lover of my soul is giving me little oasis' in the middle of my wilderness: a very understanding, loving boss; a supportive family; an outstanding body of believers to fellowship and travel on this journey with; the opportunity to return to China this summer! And, these are only a few; every day He is showing me how much I am loved and cherished, and how all I have to do is trust--and leap with Him! It's all faith from here on out. I'm truly convinced that His unexpecteds will exceed my expecteds, they ALWAYS do. This wilderness wandering is simply a time for me to grow closer to the One who loves me more than I can even imagine.

To me a desert represents hopelessness, and a wilderness hope. Just think of what's on the other side of your wilderness--Canaan. A land flowing with milk and honey! Let's tackle our wilderness' with hope, trusting that the One who created us will lead us to our very own promised land! Enjoy the wilderness, draw near to the Lord and He will draw near to you (James 4:8)! Even if I gain nothing more than a more intimate relationship with my Jesus, this whole wilderness will be well worth the trials. I love you dearly, fellow traveler!

Blessings!

Layers

Recently I started an art journal (in that I have completed about 1/10 of 1 page). And, trust me, I cannot think of a more unlikely person to do an "art" journal. I love to journal...it's easy for me to write down my thoughts, fears, and prayers in words. I can easily pour my heart out. Lately, however, I've been really dissatisfied with some things in my life--mainly the fact that I live such a safe and, sadly, ordinary life. I have so many dreams, most of which I'm scared to actually start. I often find myself holding back, testing the waters, regretting the "what ifs" that I let pass me by. And, I've realized that I've learned how to conform very well. Yep, that's right...I'm a conformist, as least in some areas of my life. My job is the main area of my life that causes me so much grief. I know that what I'm being asked to teach, and the manner in which I'm expected to teach is NOT best for the students. I am blessed to work for a principal who trusts my judgement and gives me certain freedoms, but I am still very confined and feel like I'm suffocating in the very thing that is supposed to refresh me and allow me to use my gifts and touch young lives. Sure, I know how to write the best lesson plans, put on a great performance when I have visitors in my room, and teach the curriculum to "fidelity." But, at the end of the day I know that I could have made more of an impact if I would have been given the freedom to differentiate more, individualize to my specific little ones, and (heaven forbid) add in a little fun. But, I digress...back to the art journal...

In reading up on art journals and learning different techniques I've come to understand the importance of layering. Upon first glance a page may seem very simple, but a closer look shows the torn pages, pictures, words, paints, glitter, etc. that all work together to express a thought, idea, mood. It's all so intricate, yet can be so simple. As I'm learning more about myself and the woman I'm destined to be, I'm discovering my layers. I'm not just a daughter, sister, friend, and teacher...no! I'm a perceiver, a dreamer, a believer (and a Believer), an adventure seeker, and so much more. As scary as it is to reveal some of these layers, I know that in doing so I will become an even better reflection of my Jesus, and I will start looking more like the woman He has created me to be.

So, it's not much now, but I'm hoping it will turn into a beautiful hodge-podge of my creative being. The scariest part is making the first mark. I'm afraid I'll mess up, or create something ugly, but it's all a part of my journey. "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Ps. 139:14. "Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and bless His holy name." ~Ps. 100:4. Happy journaling!

Blessings!

Freedom

I'm a perfectionist by nature. And, in no way do I tell you this as a brag--rather, I'm confessing it to you as sin. I know that God has given me unique traits, abilities, and giftings; however, I also know that my flesh has twisted the intended purposes of these traits in order to find glorification and self-worth in the eyes of the world. I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to try something new, do something crazy, take a chance and been held back by my own fears. This fear is gripping, and it's always there to put me back into my place, my box. You can't. You'll just end up looking silly. Who do you think you are? Don't even try. It's truly my own self-destructive thoughts that crush my spirit--in fact, I'm surrounded by people who fill me with words of affirmation. Maybe I'm afraid that if I try something new I will be seen as *gasp* average and the praise from others will stop. Maybe I'm afraid that if I step out of my comfort zone I will find that I truly cannot do anything except that which has held me in bondage for so long. Or, maybe I'm afraid of the risk involved in finding something truly extraordinary when ordinary seems so safe.

It's a funny thing, this whole idea of safety. I don't even want to live in the "safe zone." Nope. My heart wants to step out and do something great, something that involves danger and adventure. Let's face it, I'd rather jump out of the plane than watch from the safety of the ground below. Why? Because it's more exciting, more exhilarating, and once it's over there's a greater sense of accomplishment. And, I'm finding that the more I stay in my, quote, un-quote, comfort zone the more I'm finding a sense of discomfort in my soul. And, honestly, I think if I don't take a leap of faith, well, I'm going to miss out on something truly amazing.

About 2 months ago I was at a retreat, (a truly life changing retreat). I went up for prayer and received the most freeing words that have ever been spoken over me...THE FREEDOM TO FAIL. Are you kidding me?! Those were just the words I needed to hear, to receive. In whose eyes would I be failing, anyway? When I feel the weight of the world upon my shoulder, or become overtaken by my own fears I simply cling to my Father's precious promises:

*I can't! Oh, but you can, my love. You can do all things through Me, for I strengthen you. (Phil. 4:13)

*I'll just end up failing! You are more than a conqueror! I will cause you to triumph, and I will diffuse the fragrance of My knowledge everywhere you go. (Rom. 8:37; 2 Cor. 2:14)

*Who do I think I am? You are My child, My beloved, holy. You are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. (Col. 3:12; Rom. 1:7; 1 Peter 1:16; Eph. 1:4; Deut. 28:13)

*It's just too hard! In Me, you are strong. You shall overcome and inherit all things. (Ps. 27:1; Ps. 73:26; Rev. 21:7)

So, I haven't yet exercised this newly found freedom, but I'll keep you posted. I know that in the near future I'm going to be spreading my wings and learning to trust like I never have before. I have faith that I am going to witness miracles, experience healings, and fall more deeply in love with the One whom my soul truly longs for. And...it's going to be a wild ride!

Blessings!