free

Good morning. It's a sunny morning here in Fort Collins and I'm reminded that His mercies are new each day. Even after a sleepless night I am feeling refreshed and ready for all that the Lord has for me this day.

Last night one of my prayers was answered...with a brutal no. I say brutal because it was one of my *going out on a limb* type of very specific requests. The thing is I could never pray this prayer in full confidence so on Wednesday night I asked that the Lord either take this desire away, or give me the faith and hope to pray confidently and expectantly for it, and I asked Him to do this within 48 hours. I'm not sure why 48, I just don't want to put so much time and thought energy into an idea that is not the Lord's will for my life. So, almost exactly 48 hours later it was evident that the Lord had given me my answer. It was hard-so many of my dreams were wrapped up in this one thing, which I now see as the problem.

Around 1:30am this morning I finally got out of bed, grabbed my journal, Bible and favorite Sharpie and headed to the kitchen table. I was sad as I flipped through my journal, noticing the weeks of absent entries..the truth is I've been trying to go at it on my own lately, having some great times with my Maker, yet not letting His newly revealed truths take root in my life. I haven't been listening and reflecting as I once did; I've enjoyed a closeness with Him that keeps my agenda first, keeps me feeling happy and just full enough to know that I can handle things. Which, by the way, I can't and it hit me hard on Wednesday night..and it came out as anger, bitterness, a sense of deservedness. And, He's been stirring my heart these last nights, weeks maybe. I've prayed and processed, yet known that He's been wanting more. Last night I finally allowed that and 7 pages and 2 1/2 hours later  my mind was full of fresh thoughts, truth and a peace in my soul that has been missing lately. Sometimes a hard no is needed to unleash creative visions and spur us on to the greater good that He has planned.

This sweet, refreshing time this morning was so good. The Lord reminded me that He has placed these desires upon my heart but I've got to make sure that I'm letting Him take the lead. My ministry will be exactly what He has in mind, and I saw the no as a blessing last night as I was reminded that He is able to do exceeding more that I can even hope or imagine! This no is for my good and He has something even better for me. I can only see what's in front of me now, He sees the whole picture and I can rest in knowing that He's not forgotten, and, what's really freeing, I don't have to do it alone. 

I was led to Phil 4:4-8 this morning, let us not forget to dwell upon that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, worthy of praise.

You are so deeply loved, dear one!

xox

you

Hello there bloggy friends! You are looking especially lovely! It's 2:00am right now and I'm writing this as I stare upon a starry night's sky. I can't sleep and for years I've taken sleepless nights as a call to prayer. So, for the past few hours I've been praying and processing, listening, and lifting up individuals that are impressed upon my heart. I'm also saying a prayer over each one of you right now. May you know the Lord more intimately than ever before. May He be the One that you run to first, your Healer, the One you look upon for comfort and seek earnestly.

If I can be quite honest with you I've been struggling lately. With many things, big and small, and I've been expressing my frustrations to the Lord. Thank goodness he's big enough to handle my every woe. He is invading my heart and I have faith that he is working miracles around and in me, even when I cannot see them, even when they look different than I'd hoped.

I want to leave you with a song that I've been lifting up in worship. It's beautiful and ministering right down to my very soul. May it minister to you as well. *He must increase, but I must decrease* John 3:30

You

Invading all my weakness

You wrapped me up in grace

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My heart is overtaken

My soul is overwhelmed

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My dreams have found their purpose

My future in Your hands

This life would have no meaning if it weren't for You

So I lay me down

For Kingdom come

Steel all that is within me

Cause all I want in this world is more of You

And the less of me it is You

Increasing as I fade away

Your light for all the world to see

God it is You who breaks the chains

It is You who lights the way

And everything I am cries out to You

Lord make my life transparent

Your life in mine displayed

And let every earthly glory

Go back to You

So I lay me down

For Kingdom come

Steel all that is within me

Cause all I want in this world is more of You

And the less of me it is You

Increasing as I fade away

Your light for all the world to see

God it is You who breaks the chains

It is You who lights the way

And everything I am cries out to You

-Joel Houston
Hillson Live

Here is this song's story. Praying the Lord continues to use Joel to minister mightily through song!

Blessings! xox

home away from home

Hello. Welcome. We're so glad you're here.

These are the words I was greeting with this morning as I entered the doors of High Way Community. Instantly I felt comfortable as I was asked if I was from the Boulder area and how I heard about High Way. Then, the most beautiful words, to a church visitor's ears, were spoken:

Here, let me introduce you to some folks.

I was introduced to 2 of the sweetest young ladies who walked with me into the room where service was held and sat beside me. Instant friends. Worship was fantastic and I felt like I was back at Highlands, seeing as most of the songs were Hillsong classics..made this girl's heart happy. The teaching was solid--the prayer was spirit-filled and powerful!

After the service I met more incredible people who kept introducing me, by name, to others. The pastor and his wife, Steve and Missy, are wonderful. This body of believers just get's community, they understand the importance of pouring into the lives of others. They are indeed a life-giving church. I'm so glad I made this connection--it was a breath of fresh air.

I received more hugs today than I have in quite some time--the real kind, the kind that let you know you are valued and appreciated. The conversations that I had were meaningful and if I could have had a song playing it would have been: *This feels like home to me* (I'm not exactly sure if that's the name of the song, I'm thinking of the one from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)


I'm reminded that ARC (Association of Related Churches) churches set a high precedent for other church bodies in areas like community, outreach, love, relationships. Way to go and press on!

Blessings!
xox

thoughts

I've become acutely aware of 3 things about myself lately.

1). I drink too much coffee. (This isn't some sort of confession to stop drinking so much, just more of an observation). Yesterday a coworker approached me and asked, "Andrea, if you had to smell like a coffee shop which one would you choose?" Without a moments hesitation I told him my top 2 Fort Collins coffee shop smell picks. That's a true story. Not sure what's worse, the fact that I had an immediate answer, or the fact that I didn't think this question strange in the least.

2). I don't know the value of a penny. I mean, yesterday alone I walked by 5 of the little guys and didn't even entertain the thought of picking them up. I wasn't worried about the luck, adding them to the my coin stash in my car, (that, quite honestly, I forget about every time I'm paying in cash), or even giving them to a person in need. Nope. I looked right at them and kept on going. Now, maybe someone who needs them more than myself came along and picked them up...I hope.

3). I'm a good girl. And I don't say this in any kind of braggy way. I say it in the sense that I've worked so hard my whole life to be viewed as *good* by everyone, including you, depending so much on myself, my good deeds, my works. I've strived to be seen as nice, respectful, responsible...perfect. I've mentioned this before, and it's just as true today, I'm a recovering perfectionistic people pleaser. Not that being good is a bad thing, but it's terrible when striving for good replaces my reliance upon grace. At the recommendation of a friend I purchased a book on this very topic. I haven't really started the book yet because the Lord has been, and continues to renew my mind in this matter. I'm making 2012 the year that I listen to the voice of the Lord above any other. I'll let you know more about the book once I read it--I think it's going to be a keeper.

Phew. Refinement is tough, isn't it? Thankfully the Lord continues to renew our minds--He never lets go!

In semi-unrelated news, you should follow some of my Aussie tweeple--they're so encouraging and spirit-filled...not to mention I always read their tweets with an Australian accent...and giggle.

Be blessed today, lovely! xox

a month of love

Today I enjoyed the most perfect of snow days! Those magical little flakes fell all day--setting a delightful stage for breakfast with a dear, sweet friend and an afternoon full of journaling and reflection. Oh, and I enjoyed my first cup, (okay cups), of coffee in 2012. And, can I just tell you it was just as delicious as I remember it being from 2011! Coffee evokes conversation, sharing, closeness, laughter... Did I mention that I love coffee???

As much as I enjoy a good cup of joe, I've learned the importance of enjoying time with my heavenly Father above all else. So, for the 5th time I tithed the firsts of my year to the Lord. If I haven't mentioned it before, I left one of the most amazing communities in Alabama-friends and the most vibrant, life-giving church family I've ever had the privilege of serving alongside. Truly. Pastor Chris Hodges is one of the most anointed and humble leaders, and among other truths that I gleaned from his teaching was this idea to tithe the first of the year to the Lord through prayer and fasting. In years past I have done the 21 days of prayer and fasting with Highlands, but this year I felt the Lord asking for more. So, this year I tithed January, in it's entirety, to Him.

I can honestly say that for the first time I was actually excited about starting the season-I have an unexplainable expectancy for 2012. Not that I've dreaded the other years, but I'd just never entered the season with so much hope, faith and assurance. Don't get me wrong, there were days that were hard, so hard even that the smells of fast food enticed my senses. However, I feasted on the Word like never before. This spot has become holy ground in my house, and what you can't see is the cute little table and lamp beside this overstuffed, comfy chair. Perfect for setting a hot cup of coffee. :)

This month required a lot of letting go. Letting go of my hopes and dreams, and allowing my Father to work on those places of my heart ruled by selfishness, pride, walled by hurt. Surprisingly, though, he has only intensified my desires for certain things-I'm learning that He really does want the best for me, He just wants me to allow things to happen in His perfect timing, His way. It's been both freeing and exciting. It was a month of returning to my first Love, pressing into His goodness, basking in His glory, resting in His presence.

As I clung to truth, and listened for His voice alone I realized that I haven't been living the free life that he designed for me.

3 things that will no longer have a place in my life

*doubt

*fear

*worry

I believe these 3 things have held me back from living a life of freedom for which I was designed. Are there things that are keeping you from enjoying the full life that the Lord has for you? Give them over today and start the process, perhaps for the hundredth time, of renewing you mind.

May your days be full of Peace, Joy and Love from the only One who satisfies.

Love you all so dearly! xox