because I love you

For a month I've wanted to write something profound or funny or post a super easy and yummy salad that I eat pretty much every single day, but most of those posts have found a permanent home in the drafts section, the rest have been deleted altogether. I can't really explain this current season that I'm experiencing--I wouldn't necessarily call it discontentment, but there's definitely an unrest in my soul. A stirring that lingers, yet it's meaning remains a mystery. And, the only answer I'm getting is *because I love you.*

It's not like the whole *because I said so* phrase that adults like to use on kids. There's no pretense or sarcasm; it's not a statement that is trying to prove anything. It's just fact. It's true always. Even in the ever present unanswered prayers, even in my pleading for answers, questioning and doubt, this statement is true. It doesn't need a very much added to the end or a *to the moon and back* because it's infinite, deep and unfathomably good. It needs no explanation because this love soothes completely, beckons, draws in and comforts like no other love. It's His love and it never ends. Never.

And maybe you haven't heard those words in a while. Maybe you can't hear those words over the hurt, sorrow or lies that surround you. Maybe you hear them and it's time for you to accept them. Maybe, just maybe those are the very words that will break the strongholds and set you free.

Receive them today with your palms up and open. It's risky, yes, you might lose that which you're holding so tightly, but just think of all that can be given to you when you are better equipped to handle the  tools designed specifically for you, to accomplish that which you cannot on you own. And, when you find yourself asking why? have I received such peace amidst the chaos of life or unrest in my soul, you might just turn your eyes towards heaven and hear those familiar words..

because I love you..


and find that's all you need to press on.

xox

without you I am only me

Obvious? Yes. Profound? I think so.

I've been reflecting on community lately. It's not only good, but necessary, vital. Can you imagine trying to do life alone?! Living life with others is a beautifully hard, messy and refining act. We are told in Proverbs 27:17 that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. We are meant to encourage, challenge, point one another towards Truth. It's messy because we're a bunch of imperfect people, the whole lot of us, but it's beautiful because we are able to display love as a body, the Body, the Church.

This phrase came to me this week as I was helping one of my teachers put the finishing touches on her newsletter, the very newsletter that would invite others to join her support team and be a part of the work that she will soon be doing in Asia. She'd beautifully used Ecclesiastes 4:12 that speaks of strength in numbers, and how she was going to need a strong *force* to go with her, both through prayer and financial means. She was stumped with the ending, the ask. It's uncomfortable for us, as folks who highly value individualism, to ask others for support.

The truth is, however, that we all need a strong support team. People who rally around us during the hard times and sing praises with us during the good times. Those who mourn with us in our suffering and rejoice with us at our celebratory banquet tables. Individuals who are praying for us daily, and individuals that, in turn, we are praying for daily. It doesn't matter if we never leave our city or if we move across our State, Nation or to the ends of the Earth. We need folks who know us, love us, rebuke us in love when necessary and always cheer us on to God's best.

So, while God promises that we can do all things through Christ, he also created us for community. Where one is weak, many are strong. Let's fight this good fight together, building one another up in love, impacting lives for all eternity! 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet with one another, as is the habit with some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

-Hebrews 10:24-25

Without you I am only me..together, WE..

You are loved. xox

you are welcome here

Hi there! I've missed you all--the past month-and-a-half has been filled with travel, but I'm now peacefully back in CO. Below are some pics from my recent visit to DC:

history

beauty

As much fun as I've had with friends, meeting new friends and speaking at different schools and churches it sure feels good to be *home.* In fact, I'm enjoying my second cup of blonde roast in my favorite mug, my overstuffed couch, windows open and fresh breeze. I love lazy Saturdays and, maybe more than ever, I'm welcoming spring with arms wide open.

One of the hardest parts about traveling is that I am always the visitor. Even when I'm back in AL, on familiar turf, I'm still an outsider, I'm no longer a part of the community. And, that's a hard pill to swallow. It's hardest because I am being welcomed by folks to places that I once welcomed others, sitting by idly when I once swarmed with tasks to help ensure others felt warm, invited, welcomed. The reality is hard, but it's okay.

For, you see, I now have a new community, new friends, new visitors to welcome. I love inviting others in, helping them feel as though they belong. One of my favorite ways to do this is by having people into my home. I used to think that once my house was perfectly decorated I would have people over all the time--you know what, I'm constantly adding/changing my decor. My house will never be perfectly decorated, but what a blessing it is to have the space to entertain friends. Last night I had some friends over for a waffle picnic. I'm still on the hunt for an old wooden picnic table for the back, to put next to the garden, so instead we enjoyed an indoor picnic with the windows wide open.

And, as if having a beautiful home, a great job and terrific friends wasn't enough, the Lord has allowed me to be a part of a new ARC church plant. An answer to prayer and another way that I can invest into this community. This chapter looks and feels a lot different than the last, I'm using new tools, building something new, and growing in unexpected areas. And, while I know change is always just a breath away, I'm enjoying this here and now. I am so truly blessed and my hope is that I will pass these blessings on to others and that they will know deep down to their souls...you are welcome here.

Sending many blessings your way! xox

free

Good morning. It's a sunny morning here in Fort Collins and I'm reminded that His mercies are new each day. Even after a sleepless night I am feeling refreshed and ready for all that the Lord has for me this day.

Last night one of my prayers was answered...with a brutal no. I say brutal because it was one of my *going out on a limb* type of very specific requests. The thing is I could never pray this prayer in full confidence so on Wednesday night I asked that the Lord either take this desire away, or give me the faith and hope to pray confidently and expectantly for it, and I asked Him to do this within 48 hours. I'm not sure why 48, I just don't want to put so much time and thought energy into an idea that is not the Lord's will for my life. So, almost exactly 48 hours later it was evident that the Lord had given me my answer. It was hard-so many of my dreams were wrapped up in this one thing, which I now see as the problem.

Around 1:30am this morning I finally got out of bed, grabbed my journal, Bible and favorite Sharpie and headed to the kitchen table. I was sad as I flipped through my journal, noticing the weeks of absent entries..the truth is I've been trying to go at it on my own lately, having some great times with my Maker, yet not letting His newly revealed truths take root in my life. I haven't been listening and reflecting as I once did; I've enjoyed a closeness with Him that keeps my agenda first, keeps me feeling happy and just full enough to know that I can handle things. Which, by the way, I can't and it hit me hard on Wednesday night..and it came out as anger, bitterness, a sense of deservedness. And, He's been stirring my heart these last nights, weeks maybe. I've prayed and processed, yet known that He's been wanting more. Last night I finally allowed that and 7 pages and 2 1/2 hours later  my mind was full of fresh thoughts, truth and a peace in my soul that has been missing lately. Sometimes a hard no is needed to unleash creative visions and spur us on to the greater good that He has planned.

This sweet, refreshing time this morning was so good. The Lord reminded me that He has placed these desires upon my heart but I've got to make sure that I'm letting Him take the lead. My ministry will be exactly what He has in mind, and I saw the no as a blessing last night as I was reminded that He is able to do exceeding more that I can even hope or imagine! This no is for my good and He has something even better for me. I can only see what's in front of me now, He sees the whole picture and I can rest in knowing that He's not forgotten, and, what's really freeing, I don't have to do it alone. 

I was led to Phil 4:4-8 this morning, let us not forget to dwell upon that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, worthy of praise.

You are so deeply loved, dear one!

xox

you

Hello there bloggy friends! You are looking especially lovely! It's 2:00am right now and I'm writing this as I stare upon a starry night's sky. I can't sleep and for years I've taken sleepless nights as a call to prayer. So, for the past few hours I've been praying and processing, listening, and lifting up individuals that are impressed upon my heart. I'm also saying a prayer over each one of you right now. May you know the Lord more intimately than ever before. May He be the One that you run to first, your Healer, the One you look upon for comfort and seek earnestly.

If I can be quite honest with you I've been struggling lately. With many things, big and small, and I've been expressing my frustrations to the Lord. Thank goodness he's big enough to handle my every woe. He is invading my heart and I have faith that he is working miracles around and in me, even when I cannot see them, even when they look different than I'd hoped.

I want to leave you with a song that I've been lifting up in worship. It's beautiful and ministering right down to my very soul. May it minister to you as well. *He must increase, but I must decrease* John 3:30

You

Invading all my weakness

You wrapped me up in grace

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My heart is overtaken

My soul is overwhelmed

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My dreams have found their purpose

My future in Your hands

This life would have no meaning if it weren't for You

So I lay me down

For Kingdom come

Steel all that is within me

Cause all I want in this world is more of You

And the less of me it is You

Increasing as I fade away

Your light for all the world to see

God it is You who breaks the chains

It is You who lights the way

And everything I am cries out to You

Lord make my life transparent

Your life in mine displayed

And let every earthly glory

Go back to You

So I lay me down

For Kingdom come

Steel all that is within me

Cause all I want in this world is more of You

And the less of me it is You

Increasing as I fade away

Your light for all the world to see

God it is You who breaks the chains

It is You who lights the way

And everything I am cries out to You

-Joel Houston
Hillson Live

Here is this song's story. Praying the Lord continues to use Joel to minister mightily through song!

Blessings! xox

home away from home

Hello. Welcome. We're so glad you're here.

These are the words I was greeting with this morning as I entered the doors of High Way Community. Instantly I felt comfortable as I was asked if I was from the Boulder area and how I heard about High Way. Then, the most beautiful words, to a church visitor's ears, were spoken:

Here, let me introduce you to some folks.

I was introduced to 2 of the sweetest young ladies who walked with me into the room where service was held and sat beside me. Instant friends. Worship was fantastic and I felt like I was back at Highlands, seeing as most of the songs were Hillsong classics..made this girl's heart happy. The teaching was solid--the prayer was spirit-filled and powerful!

After the service I met more incredible people who kept introducing me, by name, to others. The pastor and his wife, Steve and Missy, are wonderful. This body of believers just get's community, they understand the importance of pouring into the lives of others. They are indeed a life-giving church. I'm so glad I made this connection--it was a breath of fresh air.

I received more hugs today than I have in quite some time--the real kind, the kind that let you know you are valued and appreciated. The conversations that I had were meaningful and if I could have had a song playing it would have been: *This feels like home to me* (I'm not exactly sure if that's the name of the song, I'm thinking of the one from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)


I'm reminded that ARC (Association of Related Churches) churches set a high precedent for other church bodies in areas like community, outreach, love, relationships. Way to go and press on!

Blessings!
xox

thoughts

I've become acutely aware of 3 things about myself lately.

1). I drink too much coffee. (This isn't some sort of confession to stop drinking so much, just more of an observation). Yesterday a coworker approached me and asked, "Andrea, if you had to smell like a coffee shop which one would you choose?" Without a moments hesitation I told him my top 2 Fort Collins coffee shop smell picks. That's a true story. Not sure what's worse, the fact that I had an immediate answer, or the fact that I didn't think this question strange in the least.

2). I don't know the value of a penny. I mean, yesterday alone I walked by 5 of the little guys and didn't even entertain the thought of picking them up. I wasn't worried about the luck, adding them to the my coin stash in my car, (that, quite honestly, I forget about every time I'm paying in cash), or even giving them to a person in need. Nope. I looked right at them and kept on going. Now, maybe someone who needs them more than myself came along and picked them up...I hope.

3). I'm a good girl. And I don't say this in any kind of braggy way. I say it in the sense that I've worked so hard my whole life to be viewed as *good* by everyone, including you, depending so much on myself, my good deeds, my works. I've strived to be seen as nice, respectful, responsible...perfect. I've mentioned this before, and it's just as true today, I'm a recovering perfectionistic people pleaser. Not that being good is a bad thing, but it's terrible when striving for good replaces my reliance upon grace. At the recommendation of a friend I purchased a book on this very topic. I haven't really started the book yet because the Lord has been, and continues to renew my mind in this matter. I'm making 2012 the year that I listen to the voice of the Lord above any other. I'll let you know more about the book once I read it--I think it's going to be a keeper.

Phew. Refinement is tough, isn't it? Thankfully the Lord continues to renew our minds--He never lets go!

In semi-unrelated news, you should follow some of my Aussie tweeple--they're so encouraging and spirit-filled...not to mention I always read their tweets with an Australian accent...and giggle.

Be blessed today, lovely! xox