moments of weight and worth

The bitter, nutty notes of the coffee flirted with my nose as I walked into the cafe, (for the love that we share, coffee and me, is not void of the romance). I'd accepted the invitation with a heart full of joy and thanksgiving--I'd been asked to a coffee date by an "older" woman. The quotation marks are completely necessary as she is a mere 50, plus I have always been an old soul and she has a young spirit so we met somewhere in the middle where conversation flows unhindered by things like age and trends and hip lingo. It was evident that small talk would not be tolerated, (praises!), as the first questions set the stage for depth in sharing and soul bearing.

The words we shared were meaningful and weighty. They didn't elicit tears, or even laughter, but rather demanded the full attention of the other. There was an unspokenness about us, an understanding that we would be connecting on a soul level and that every moment together in that place would be precious and sacred. She shared of the new chapter she is entering with her family and about all that she has learned over the years and her plans for making the most of her current season in life. I spoke of my big dreams and passions and the doors that the Lord has been opening wide. I declared that fear will no longer have the power to keep me from stepping into my destiny. She smiled as if we were sharing secrets and shook her head in agreement.

Our hearts were being knit together in those 90 minutes. We didn't talk about love lost or love found, or anything suck in-between. Those moments will come, and when they do there will be tears, I'm positive, for that is where my heart is most tender. Our time was not muddied by marital status or job title or any other label. It was a protected time and space for two women to invest and come alongside one another. Women so different, yet similar.

It was a chance to cradle the dreams of another with tenderness and understanding, linking arms, rubbing shoulders. It was a chance to remind each other that we are meant for big things and settling is not an option. It was a chance to remember that we are a people meant for community, for pouring out and receiving. Together we are better and stronger and can help fill in the gaps where life is messy and hard, and rejoice in the moments of beauty and victory.

Differences do not have to complicate relationships, friends. Differences can actually be the very glue that binds us to another. Take a risk: extend or accept an offer to meet over coffee or take the kids to the park or go for a run. Stop comparing your life with her perfect social media world and stop being intimidated by her gifts and talents. Have an actual face-to-face conversation with her. You might make a new friend for life or you might have a new acquaintance that you once had a conversation with and got to spur on in her journey. Either way, you win. She wins. We all win.

There is nothing like sharing in the mystery of deep, spiritual friendship. Give it a try.