prayer journey

Anticipation. Excitement. Fear. These are just some of the emotions that have been living in me the past couple of weeks. I've had such an unrest in my spirit and the Lord has challenged me to start asking big and expecting big. But every time I sit down to pray there's an underlying fear. Fear of what? Failure? Disappointment? Well, sure...but what the Lord has really revealed is that I am afraid that He will actually give me the desires of my heart. I know, it sounds so silly. Why wouldn't I want the desires of my heart to be fulfilled? I think the best way to answer this is simply because in order for my heart's desires to be realized God has to make them happen. My dreams require God. Period. I have to give him full and complete control and let Him work. This is hard for me for two reasons: one, because I like to be in control; two, because what the Lord has placed on my heart is huge and I'm not quite sure I have the confidence in myself to pray for such things. Plus, I've realized that I have all assurance and faith when praying for others, and am not surprised in the least when the Lord answers those prayers. However, when I pray for myself my faith is so weak, a pitiful...if you don't mind...if you have time...kind of attitude.

I've been so burdened with the need to pray lately. For friends and family. For churches. For leaders. It's been really overwhelming. So, I now have specific days allotted to pray for different individuals. Not in a legalistic sort or way, but rather for intentionality. How often do we say I'll be praying for you and forget the request the minute we step away from the person? I don't want to be that person; I want to be a woman of faith, prayer, integrity. And, if the Lord puts an individual on my heart and, *gasp*, it's not his/her day I'm going to lift them up, listening and being obedient to those prompting from the Spirit. This past week I felt the Lord telling me to partner in intentional agreement with a friend for 21 days. So, I enlisted my sweet friend Kelli. We have committed to agreeing specifically, intentionally and expectantly in prayer for one another each day for 21 days. I know that there is power in prayer. Power. So, here we go...what a joy and honor it is to stand in the gap for another...what a joy to know that another is standing in the gap for me...

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! -Ephesians 3:20-21